at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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