ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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