No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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