In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
