Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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