Hey man sorry I got all grabby
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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