Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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