I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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