woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
