Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
