Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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