Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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