a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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