We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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