my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
