just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize