so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
