yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
