Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
