i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
