i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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