from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need to calm my uterus...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
