I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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