This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
