I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
even my farts smell like vagina
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
