You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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