Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
