yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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