this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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