the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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