I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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