you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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