I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
