chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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