After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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