well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
