he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
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I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize