dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
