As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
please don't ironically join a cult
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