Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
