i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
