i permit you to call me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Boobs speak an international language.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
