I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I love you.
Bad choice
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