I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
