He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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