belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize