i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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