Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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