I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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