She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
