I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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