xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
