My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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