You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You're like the curious george of whores
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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