he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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