Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
