i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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