I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
